


An Oath is Kept

by trepkos



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: Forgiveness, M/M, Ransom, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-19
Updated: 2010-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-12 18:38:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trepkos/pseuds/trepkos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur's position as leader puts the relationship under stress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Oath is Kept

**Author's Note:**

> Set towards the end of "In Common Cause."

At last, we reach the border of Cerdig’s territory. It’s been a long, hard road: not the journey, so much as what went before: the wrangling, and arm-twisting, and bargaining; the complaints from my reluctant people, at being asked to give up half their animals to the enemy.

I can hardly blame them. Had I not feared for our own livestock and the wild beasts we hunt, a part of me – a part of which I am not proud – would have rejoiced to see the Saxons brought low. At the beginning, with even Llud muttering doubts about my wisdom for any who cared to listen, I thought I might have to part with gold for every animal they surrendered.

Either that, or raid Cerdig’s camp to get Kai back.

I haven’t let myself dwell too much on Kai, but now the end’s in sight, I do. I’m sure he understands. He knows my mind – my dreams – better than anyone. He, of all people, will realise why I had to do this; that I would have taken his place if I could. And he knows I’ll come for him.

But this has taken longer than I’d hoped. He will be fretting at the delay.

We are very near Cerdig’s village. I signal Llud to stop, and give the herders time to catch up. While we wait, I look through the cover of the trees towards the Giant’s Stair.

And I see Kai.

A shock of relief floods through me. Then I make out the rotund figure of Cerdig, grasping Kai in a bear hug.

What …? What’s going on?

Now Kai is running. What in God’s name does the fool think he’s playing at? He’s just five minutes from being ransomed, yet he feels the need to make a performance of the exchange, throwing himself off the Giant’s Stair, and risking his life against the Saxon spears. Showing the whole world how little trust he has in Arthur’s word.

A spear flies towards him, and my heart turns over, but the spear goes wide, and no more follow. Cerdig, at least, takes my threats against him seriously, even if Kai does not.

And when Kai drags himself out of the water, he runs towards me, grinning, as if he’s done something clever.

Tired and exasperated, I say the first thing that comes into my head; chide him for his lack of faith in me. “Could you not wait?”

His face turns thunderous. “Cerdig sought to dig deeper the pit you left me in. I had to build a ladder of cleverer lies with which to climb out.”

He’s furious. My hand tightens on the grip of my shield, but Kai is already running to his horse. I turn to see him grip Llud’s arm in greeting.

Llud has barely said two words to me since that time in the longhouse. He glows with pride in his son – in Kai, not me – for taking his fate into his own hands. I feel the bond between them: their hands clasped against me – excluding me. I have asked too much of them.

Kai turns, his countenance full of anger and frustration. “There was no need for this bargain.”

My two most trusted men, turning against me. I have never felt so alone. What is left to me? “I gave my word.”

“To a Saxon?”

But wasn’t it Kai who told me, ‘They have more to offer’? Hasn’t he risked his life to save a Saxon, before now?

I clench my jaw. “To Celt or Saxon, my word must stand.”

If it costs me their friendship, it will be cold comfort that I kept my word.

Kai shakes his head; he doesn’t understand. “There is no more sickness. Our animals are healthy, and hunting will be good. With empty bellies, our enemies would soon be at our mercy. I say prepare for –”

What if I’m wrong? Is my word so important, when to break it could break my enemies too? The earth shifts beneath me. “Well, Kai? What do you say?”

I hold my breath; the truth of my being rests on his reply.

~~

I look across at the old man on the other side.

Does he deserve to starve?

Is Arthur so wrong?

Do I, for spite, make him break his word, and, in doing so, break him?

~~

“Your word must stand.”

I breathe again. “Leave the animals! Go!”

I turn to Kai, and give him thanks, from the bottom of my heart.

~~

Kai empties the skin bottle before we are a quarter of the way home, and soon devours the dried meats we brought with us. Though Cerdig has not injured him, Kai has not been treated well.

I have no idea what to say to him. Kai is not sulking or sullen – on the contrary, he seems elated, at least when speaking with Llud. He must know that I am glad to see him; that I want him safe. But if I say it, his response will lash me like a whip.

When we arrive back at our village, Kai eats and drinks as though he hasn’t seen sustenance in days; I curse myself, and Cerdig.

Kai gets up to go to his bed, and I follow him outside; delay him with a hand on his arm. “Kai, wait.”

He turns on me. “Don’t dare tell me you’re sorry. You would do the same again tomorrow if it suited you.”

I would deny it, but he would not believe me – so I let him go.

~~

A few days pass. When there are others present, Kai treats me no differently. He laughs off his captivity, and supports my decision when anyone rails at the loss of their animals. I even hear him argue on my side.

But we sleep alone, and there is a sickening feeling of loss in the pit of my stomach. To save our herds and our game, I gave him up to my enemy. In doing so, I have forfeited his trust: perhaps forever.

I spend the evening drinking, then rise to go to my bed. But as I stand outside the sleeping area, I overhear Kai cursing the Saxons. Telling Llud about his time in their camp; how when Cerdig was not present, he was humiliated at every opportunity by his guards.

My gorge rises. I press my head to the doorframe.

Kai looks up and sees me.

There is no air in here.

I make it outside, and lean over the rail, retching; about to throw up everything I ate and drank this night.

Then there are gentle hands gathering my hair; Kai holds it off my face until it’s over.

~~

Arthur is what he is. He belongs to his people first; to me, a poor second. I cannot change him; should not seek to, because I too depend on Arthur’s leadership and his word, and I do not have the weight of the world upon my shoulders.

But I can help him take the load.

He finishes heaving up his guts, and turns his pale face towards me. He looks stricken.

I say, “It was nothing I could not bear.”

“Thank you.”

I’ve never seen Arthur so humbled. I help him to sit down, and fetch him a jug of water.

He drinks, then wipes a hand across his mouth. “I would have done it, you know.”

“What?”

“Hunted Cerdig down, and cut out his heart. If he had harmed you.”

I grin. “And put it on a spike?”

Arthur does not laugh. “Perhaps. Depending on the offence.”

“He didn’t want me dead, Arthur. He wanted … me ... I think. On his side, against you.”

Arthur’s eyes widen. “Then he knows what that would do to me.”

“Yes … he knows. And he was fool enough to think he could get what he wanted. So I let him believe I would stay with him willingly, and he released me.”

“Did you have to –”

“I did as you would have done. Told him half of what he expected to hear, and half what he desired. He was easy meat.”

~~

So – Cerdig would have had Kai betray me. Not what I expected. But Kai – my Kai – would have none of it, even after what I put him through.

“Kai. Can you forgive me?”

He snorts. “I thought it was I who was in need of forgiveness.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry for my hasty words at the Giant’s Stair.”

“You are not still angry with me?”

“I was never angry with you, Kai – only with the circumstances that brought us to this.” I close my eyes for a moment.

Then I feel soft lips on my own – lips whose touch I thought never to feel again.

~~

Arthur melts against me.

I put my arm around his shoulders, and guide him back inside.

Llud is standing in the doorway to the sleeping area. His eyes meet mine, and he goes past us, muttering something about his shoulder aching, and needing to see Leni; then we are alone.

I kiss Arthur once more, and he accepts me, letting me take the lead; submitting to me with such grace it almost makes me weep.

I draw him towards the bed. “Come – set down your burdens for a while.”

He lays himself down, and lets me undress him like a child.

I lie atop him; he looks up at me, his eyes wide and trusting.

My heart swells with love and pride. “My Arthur …” I trail a finger down his chest.

His body jerks with a sob.

I kiss his eyes; press my forehead to his; then we start to move together, rocking against each other. But he turns his face away from me.

I roll off him to the side, so we are face to face once more. “Arthur?”

“I don’t deserve –”

“You don’t have to.”

He catches his lower lip between his teeth, and then he reaches for me.

I gasp to feel his hand on me once more; it’s been so long.

He says, “Please …”

I struggle out of my boots and breeches.

Arthur lies quite still, waiting for me to do with him as I will. I have never seen him like this before. I must be gentle. I raise his leg and rest it on my shoulder; stroke the fine dark hairs on the inside of his thigh; lean down and rub my nose against his balls.

I hear him exhale. Then he is panting, whimpering, “Kai, please …”

I want to put my tongue to his entrance, but I know he would come at once. I won’t embarrass him. I rest his leg back on the bed, and look at him in wonder.

His face is flushed. He looks at me through half-closed eyes, waiting for me to take care of things; of him.

I search under the bed, and am surprised to find the bowl of chicken grease still there.

Arthur moans as I slide a finger inside him, then he is taking long, indrawn shudders of breath.

I lift his thigh again, the better to watch my hand as I prepare him to accept me. I press a second finger in.

He utters a cry that sounds like my name; like a prayer. He is ready for me; opening himself to me.

I love him more than I can express.

I grease myself, and as I enter him, he sighs; his eyelids flutter closed. I brace myself over him, watching him. His face is relaxed; at peace. No one else will ever see Arthur like this.

As I move above him, I take him in hand; ease him along with me.

He opens his eyes. “I could stay like this forever.”

“Like this? Always on the brink?” I slow my thrusts; move my hand more languidly. “Perhaps I’ll keep you this way a bit longer.”

“Always with just you.”

He sounds so sad, it breaks me.

I look down on him seriously. “We could go away. Leave all this behind, let others fight the battles. Live like the Wood People, or build our own place – just us.”

He shakes his head. “I could not live with myself.” He moves his hips. “But this – these times, with you. It is enough to keep me from madness.”

I brush a hair from his face.

His eyes are bright, when he says, “Please Kai … never take this away.”

“I swear it.” I kiss him, to seal the pledge.

His cock is hard against my stomach.

“Shall we?” I say.

His lips part. He nods slowly. “Yes. Please.”

I rest my forehead against his shoulder, and give Arthur what he needs.

~~

We lie curled together, his back against my chest.

Just when Arthur’s breathing is so quiet, I think he is asleep, he speaks. “The last time I saw my father alive, before his last battle, my mother begged him not to go. She was distraught. Claimed she knew he would not return.”

He takes a deep breath.

“Go on.”

“But he swore to her – my father gave her his word – that he would come home safely. He did not. My mother would not eat for days. She kept saying, ‘I will eat when he comes home. He will come. He gave me his word.’ She nearly died that winter. She never truly recovered.”

I pat him on the flank. “I understand, Arthur. But you must know that Cerdig would not have wept, and beaten his breast, if you had broken your word to him.”

“Perhaps not. But what of my friends? If I keep my word to an enemy, how much more sacred will be an oath given to my friend?” He turns towards me, and looks into my eyes. “And I here give you my solemn oath – never again to allow you to stand hostage for my own ends.”

I frown. “But what if –”

“No Kai.” He smiles. “Never again. How could our hearts stand the strain?”

~~


End file.
